January 27, 2010---A Day in my life that will change me forever!!

Wed., Jan. 13th started off as any normal busy day!! Braden and Sydney were off-track and started art lessons. They were excited to go and continue working on their paintings and craft projects and we were also looking forward to meeting Shaun and The Halling's for lunch to visit and let the kids play. While I was on my way to pick them up, I noticed a very strange pain in my right breast. It wasn't terribly painful, but happened to shoot up the side of my chest every time I took a deep breath and just didn't seem right. We got to Carl's Jr. where I told Kerrian about this pain and she urged me to call Dr. Langer just to make sure that everything was o.k. I told her that it would probably go away and that I wasn't going to worry about it. Later that afternoon, we stopped to visit Grandma, and the pain was still persistent and just wasn't going away. I decided to call schedule an appt. Jen (Dr. Langer's nurse) said that the P.A. could see me on Friday, Jan. 15th. I told Shaun that I was a little worried and couldn't imagine what it could be. He assured me that it was probably nothing and that he was glad I was going to the Dr. Two days, later I had a thorough exam, and Bree, the P.A., told me that she could feel a small lump, but assured me that she didn't think it was anything to worry about, and scheduled a mammogram for the following Friday, Jan. 22nd. As crazy as it is, the pain went away and I went on with my week not really thinking about it and went in for my very first mammogram. I only waited for a few minutes before a darling tech. came back to get me. She was funny, pleasant, and made me forget why I was there. She finished the test and said that she would come back to get me if she needed more pictures. Sure enough, they wanted more pictures and said they would like to get an ultrasound. She introduced me to Melanie, the ultrasound technician, and we quickly became friends as we started talking about our parents and the hardships that we have both gone through in the past year. I felt a close connection to her and was grateful for her sweetness. After what seemed like an eternity, she brought another tech. in and then the radiologist!! He explained to me that he saw some suspicious lumps and wanted me to have a biopsy right away. I immediately broke down and felt very nervous and scared at this point and really didn't know what to think. Melanie called Shaun, and he quickly came right over. He has such a way of making everything all better. I love that boy more than he could ever imagine. He was SO incredibly positive and continued to assure me that everything was going to be all right. After a 30 minute procedure, they sent us on our way and told us that the results should be back by Tuesday. The weekend dragged on forever and we tried to stay positive and focused on the fact that they were just being precautious and that everything would come back normal. I called Mon...no results, I called Tuesday and talked to Jen. (Dr. Langer's nurse) and she said still no results. She explained to me that since they were off on Wed. that I should call and Bree's nurse would be able to tell me if they were in yet. I continued to call on Wed., feeling very frustrated that they still had nothing. I went to lunch with my friends and tried to enjoy our time together and not think about it. I called on my way home...still nothing. By 4:00, I just couldn't take it anymore. I called radiology and Melanie told me that the results had been sent up to Bree's office earlier on that afternoon. I tried calling and received their voicemail. I knew that I couldn't wait for one more night and decided to load up the baby and drive over to their office and a find a Dr. to tell me the results. I walked in, told the receptionist my name and she immediately took me right back and introduced to Dr. Nichols. For some reason, I just didn't have a good feeling and just knew that he wasn't there to deliver good news. He asked me to tell him what had been going on the past few days and proceeded to tell me that the biopsy had revealed that I had breast cancer. I couldn't believe it!!! How could this be? We were still mourning the loss of my sweet dad and I just felt like our family couldn't endure any more trials. The only thing I remember is breaking down and feeling completely numb with shock. He didn't have many details and told me that it was the "good" kind (whatever that means!!) to have and suggested that I see a General Surgeon by the name of Jane Porretta as soon as possible. So here's where my "journey" begins........

Isn't it about time for an update? New Year's 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! We rang in the New Year with some of our best friends...The Simmon's and The Halling's!! We had a blast playing games, eating lots of yummy food, and just hangin' out!! The kids ended off the evening by running around the circle screaming, yelling, and banging toy instruments together!! Thanks guys for celebrating New Year's Eve with us!! We had a blast!! On New Year's Day, I turned to Shaun and said, "This is going to be a GREAT year.....free of worries, trials, and hardships!!" Oh boy, little did I know what was in store for our family.

My Dear Sweet Pops cont....

It's hard to believe that it's been over a year since I have posted on my blog, and it's even harder to believe that it's been over a year since my dear, sweet dad was diagnosed with pancreas cancer. As many of you know, he lost his courageous battle on April 17th, 2009 and words cannot express how much I miss my dad, and how my heart aches for him to be with our family every day. It has been a year of extremely difficult "firsts" as we have tried to slowly trudge through the holidays, camping trips, family reunions, birthdays, sporting events, tumbling recitals, etc., etc. There are some days that I still don't believe it, and wait for him to walk through the door with one of his sarcastic, funny comments. I am forever grateful for the love, strength and neverending support that my dad gave to me throughout the years!! He is my shining hero and I love him now more than ever!! Thank you Dad for being the very best POPS in this whole world!! We will continue to honor and love you forever and always!!